Child Safety Policies (approved in 12th Month, 2014, Meeting for Business)

Child Safety Policy—Approved Final Policies

Ad hoc committee members:

Trustees: Ada Hammer, Gordon Davies, Sanford Hostetter

Nursery: Janet Thoroman

RE: Catherine Roseberry, Diane Bowden, Barb Adams

Advising: Steve Bricker

Background

The RE committee and Nursery coordinators have had general guidelines for what we do, but in the last few years our insurance company has sought more explicit protocols from their insured churches, including BYM and Quaker Meetings, aimed to prevent the opportunity for, or allegations of, child abuse. This culminated in a recent mandate from them to administer criminal background checks on people that work regularly with children. After receiving this mandate, Denna Joy, clerk at the time, suggested we review what we have in place, and in September 2013 the ad hoc committee was created and given this charge:

As clerk of Richmond Friends meeting, I recommend the creation of an ad hoc committee to review and refine guidelines, policies and processes that address child safety in our Meeting. The impetus for this review is new mandates by meeting’s insurance company, which includes criminal background checks on those who work directly with children.  This committee will work to develop policies to ensure alignment with these mandates. At the conclusion of their review, the committee will prepare a report for Meeting, and work with the Clerk to determine what aspects would need to come to Meeting for Worship for Business for approval.

So we have been meeting and rigorously discussing since then. This past spring, with Barbara Hulburt’s guidance, it was decided that we would separate the presentation and approval of the policy regarding criminal background checks from the rest of the policies. The Trustees, who the ad hoc committee had decided would be responsible for administering the background checks, presented that policy to Meeting and it was approved in June 2014. Today we present the rest of the policies for the approval process.

Thoughts on Child Safety Policy

Richmond Friends Meeting dearly loves and cares for our children and protecting them is without a doubt a priority. We would say our Meeting is a safe and welcoming place for children. So to take a magnified look at child safety – preventing child abuse – is challenging at the very least. Most of us have personal, professional, political and spiritual experiences and perspectives that inform us in this discussion. And they are often accompanied by strong emotions – worry, dissonance, distrust and fear – while at the same time offering opportunities for insight and growth. Ours was a thoughtful and deliberate process and we grappled with a number of difficult issues, weighing what is reasonable and speaks Truth to us with what might be expected.

Someone mentioned during an earlier discussion in June that while social constructs, like background checks, provide some level of safety, they cannot replace empowering children, parents and the adults responsible for them.  While Meeting has accepted the necessity and benefits of incorporating some of these constructs, we need to continue to explore other factors of a truly safe environment. It’s hoped that once we’ve concluded our charge and incorporated the heightened awareness prompted by these policies, we will move beyond them and focus on the positive face of this process – a more involved, loving and caring community.

The Policies

The ad hoc committee has worked to craft policies and guidelines that address a number of aspects of the safety of children that are realistic and doable given the size and structure of our Meeting. We have the policy document – the What – which is what we are bringing for approval, and we also have guideline documents – the How – from each committee and position that is involved in supporting them: Nursery, RE, Care and Counsel, and Building and Grounds and the Trustees guidelines which were shared in the spring.

Submitted by Barbara Adams

Editor’s Note: The following policies were approved at business meeting on 16 November, 2014.

Richmond Friends Meeting Child Safety Policies

Richmond Friends Meeting believes that all people deserve to be treated with dignity, kindness and respect. We are committed to creating a safe, nurturing environment, especially for our children. To ensure the greatest protection for children and the adults that work closely with them, we have adopted the following policies, appropriate for our meeting size and structure, which acknowledge the Light within us all.

 

  • Criminal background checks are administered for adults who serve in roles with frequent and ongoing interaction with children (See Child Safety Policy: Criminal Background Checks, approved by Meeting June 15, 2014). Occasional volunteers, working with at least one other adult, are not required to have a criminal background check.
  • We believe that two trusted adults, with cleared background checks, provide the safest oversight of children. We intend to provide this in all settings with children. If two such adults are not available, we will ensure alternate arrangements that provide the greatest protection.
  • Meeting’s facilities used by children are regularly inspected and maintained for appropriate accessibility and safety (See B&G Guidelines).
  • Parents, Meeting volunteers and paid child care workers collaborate to know and understand the medical and emotional needs of children, to limit the spread of illness and to respond quickly and effectively to illness and injuries.
  • The RE and Care and Counsel Committees, Nursery Coordinator(s) and Clerk of Meeting will collaborate to enact a sensitive, effective process to address concerns or allegations of any misconduct. On receiving a concern, the committee clerk or coordinator responsible will document it in writing and will report promptly to the Clerk of Meeting. Together they will determine the next response or action to be taken, following guidelines specified by the State of Virginia, where applicable.
  • Once adopted, these policies will be reviewed after one year, earlier if necessary, and thereafter as needed. Reviews will be initiated by the Trustees, and include the RE clerk, Nursery coordinator(s) and others deemed appropriate.

Note: The procedures to support these policies are specified in guideline documents for the committees or Meeting positions involved, including the Trustees, Religious Education, Nursery Coordinators, Care and Counsel, and Building and Grounds.

Invitation to a Fall Men’s Retreat at The Clearing

Several men in our Meeting have expressed an interest in having another Men’s Retreat at The Clearing this fall. The retreats are held under the broad oversight of Ministry and Worship. A small committee plans and facilitates the retreat.

This is an invitation to all men in the meeting to come to a retreat this fall, from about 8:30 am to 4:00 pm on a Saturday. Please let Jim Thoroman know if you are interested in coming. Also, let him know if you would like to join three or four others for lunch to plan the days activities. (Dan Shaw has already agreed to help with planning and Juan Whittington is always involved.)

Please respond with best October, November, or early December Saturday dates by Saturday, Sept 27 so we can choose a date. With the new heating system at the Lodge, we can meet comfortably even if the weather is cold!

Send email replies to Jim . He and Dan Shaw can answer any questions you might have.

For more information about The Clearing, see The Clearing page on RFMs website at https://staging.richmondfriends.org/

Past retreats have been enjoyable and satisfying. Hope to see you there!

An Invitation to Remember Jean Jones Andersen

Jean Jones Andersen was a lifelong student of the Bible, world religions  and spirituality. In her later years, she initiated and facilitated many spirit-led groups in her home which she called “Questers Lodge”, including dream work, Jungian studies, Islamic studies, and the multi-year Education for Ministry.  She also started Bible Workbench, for years a weekly gathering at 9:30 at our Meeting.

Jean always challenged us in our spiritual journeys, but above all she led by example. She invited others into her home, her life, and into the process of her dying. Many of us grew intellectually and spiritually thanks to her programs.  Many were deeply touched by her and by her encouraging us to “trust the process.”

When she passed away in 2009, she left Richmond Friends Meeting a generous bequest that she intended to be a challenge regarding the future of adult spiritual education in our Meeting.  Her bequest became our Adult Spiritual Education Fund, which has since helped us expand our library, engage workshop leaders, continue Bible Workbench,  give scholarships to Quaker conferences and sponsor longer term programs, like “The New Jim Crow” series.  As a result RFM committees have been inspired to work together and invigorate adult spiritual education in our Meeting.

The Adult Spiritual Education Committee now plans to collect memories of Jean, which we will compile and preserve in our policy and procedures manual.  This will assure that as the years pass, Friends will continue to know and appreciate the many ways that Jean inspired our community.

We invite you to remember Jean, write something about your experiences with her, and send written memories to Monica Shaw of the Adult Spiritual Education committee.

Peace and Social Concerns announcements (September 2014)

Announcements from Peace & Social Concerns Committee

  1. A climate change summit is being held at the United Nations in New York City on Saturday and Sunday September 20-21. The organizers of a rally planned for Sunday are hoping to have massive, record-breaking crowds to signal summit attenders that the American people want concerted action on climate change. Bus transportation from Richmond is being planned.
  2. If events in Iraq are challenging your commitment to non violent, and non military responses to turmoil and human tragedy, please go to the FCNL website and read their 8-15-14 offering entitled,” Drop Food Not Bombs.”
  3. Please mark your calendars and be sure to attend the following events:  Sunday, October 5th, an hour-long film entitled “The Wisdom to Survive” will be shown in the Community Room. This film gives a thoughtful overview of climate change and “explores how unlimited growth and greed are destroying the life support system of the planet, the social fabric of society, and the lives of billions of people.”  Do we have the wisdom to survive?  Sunday, November 2nd, Gordon Davies and Dave Depp will share their thoughts about the book The Sixth Extinction by Elizabeth Kolbert.  Their intent is to further develop some of the themes contained in the film shown on October 5th.

White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack

WHITE PRIVILEGE: UNPACKING THE INVISIBLE KNAPSACK by PEGGY McINTOSH

(Introduced by Marilyn Gilmore) (Edited by Pat Schenck)

Peggy McIntosh, a White feminist scholar, identified a long list of societal privileges that she received simply because she was White. She did not ask for them, and it is important to note that she hadn’t always noticed that she was receiving them. They included major and minor advantages.

It’s one thing to have enough awareness of racism to describe the ways that people of color are disadvantaged by it. But a new understanding of racism is more elusive. In very concrete terms, it means that if a person of color is the victim of housing discrimination, the apartment that would otherwise have been rented to that person of color is still available for a White person. The White tenant is, knowingly or unknowingly, the beneficiary of racism, a system of advantage based on race. The unsuspecting tenant is not to blame for the prior discrimination, but she benefits from it anyway.

For many Whites, this new awareness of the benefits of a racist system elicits considerable pain, often accompanied by feelings of anger and guilt. These uncomfortable emotions can hinder further discussion of race and racism. We all like to think that we deserve the good things we have received, and that others, too, get what they deserve. Social psychologists call this tendency a “belief in a just world.” Racism directly contradicts such notions of justice.

Understanding racism as a system of advantage based on race is contrary to traditional notions of an American meritocracy. For those who have internalized this myth, this definition generates considerable discomfort. It is more comfortable simply to think of racism as a particular form of prejudice. Notions of power or privilege do not have to be addressed when our understanding of racism is constructed that way.

It is important to understand that the system of advantage is perpetuated when we do not acknowledge its existence. And now, on to Peggy’s paper.

Through work to bring materials and perspectives from Women’s Studies into the rest of the curriculum, I have often noticed men’s unwillingness to grant that they are over-privileged in the curriculum, even though they may grant that women are disadvantaged. Denials which amount to taboos surround the subject of advantages which men gain from women’s disadvantages. These denials protect male privilege from being fully recognized, acknowledged, lessened, or ended. Thinking through unacknowledged male privilege as a phenomenon with a life of its own, I realized that since hierarchies in our society are interlocking, there was most likely a phenomenon of white privilege which was similarly denied and protected, but alive and real in its effects. As a

2

white person, I realized I had been taught about racism as something which puts others at a disadvantage, but had been taught not to see one of its corollary aspects, white privilege, which puts me at an advantage.

I think whites are carefully taught not to recognize white privilege, as males are taught not to recognize male privilege. So I have begun in an untutored way to ask what it is like to have white privilege. This paper is a partial record of my personal observations, and not a scholarly analysis. It is based on my daily experiences within my particular circumstances.

I have come to see white privilege as an invisible package of unearned assets which I can count on cashing in each day, but about which I was “meant” to remain oblivious. White privilege is like an invisible, weightless knapsack of special provisions, assurances, tools, maps, codes, code books, passports, visas, clothes, compasses, emergency gear, and blank checks.

My schooling gave me no training in seeing myself as an oppressor, as an unfairly advantaged person, or as a participant in a damaged culture. I was taught to see myself as an individual whose moral state depended on her individual moral will. At school, we were not taught about slavery in any depth; we were not taught to see slaveholders as damaged people. Slaves were seen as the only group at risk of being dehumanized. My schooling followed the pattern which Elizabeth Minnich pointed out: whites are taught to think of their lives as morally neutral, normative, average, and also ideal, so that when we work to benefit others, this is seen as work which will allow “them” to be more like “us.”

After frustration with men who would not recognize male privilege, I decided to try to work on myself at least by identifying some of the daily effects of white privilege in my life. It is crude work, at this stage, but I will give here a list of special circumstances and conditions I experience which I did not earn but which I have been made to feel are mine by birth, by citizenship, and by virtue of being a conscientious law-abiding “normal” person of good will. I have chosen those conditions which I think in my case attach somewhat more to skin-color privilege than to class, religion, ethnic status, or geographical location, though of course all these other factors are intricately intertwined. As far as I can see, my African-American co-workers, friends, and acquaintances with whom I come into daily or frequent contact at this particular time, place and line of work cannot count on most of these conditions.

  1. I can, if I wish, arrange to be in the company of people of my own race most of the time.
  2. I can avoid spending time with people whom I was trained to mistrust and who have learned to mistrust my kind, or me.
  3. If I should need to move, I can be pretty sure of renting or purchasing housing in an area which I can afford and in which I would want to live.
  4. I can be pretty sure that my neighbors in such a location will be neutral or pleasant to me.
  5. I can go shopping alone most of the time, pretty well assured that I will not be followed or harassed.

3

  1. I can turn on the television or open to the front page of the paper and see people of my race widely represented.
  2. When I am told about our national heritage or about “civilization,” I am shown that people of my color made it what it is.
  3. I can be sure that my children will be given curricular materials that testify to the existence of their race.
  4. If I want to, I can be pretty sure of finding a publisher for this piece on white privilege.
  5. I can be pretty sure of having my voice heard in a group in which I am the only member of my race.
  6. I can be casual about whether or not to listen to another woman’s voice in a group in which she is the only member of her race.
  7. I can go into a music shop and count on finding the music of my race represented, into a supermarket and find the staple foods which fit with my cultural traditions, into a hairdresser’s shop and find someone who can cut my hair.
  8. Whether I use checks, credit cards, or cash, I can count on my skin color not to work against the appearance of financial reliability.
  9. I can arrange to protect my children most the time from people who might not like them.
  10. I do not have to educate my children to be aware of systemic racism for their own daily physical protection.
  11. I can be pretty sure that my children’s teachers and employers will tolerate them if they fit school and workplace norms; my chief worries about them do not concern others’ attitudes toward their race.
  12. I can talk with my mouth full and not have people put this down to my color.
  13. I can swear, or dress in second-hand clothes, or not answer letters, without having people attribute these choices to the bad morals, the poverty, or the illiteracy of my race.
  14. I can speak in public to a powerful male group without putting my race on trial.
  15. I can do well in a challenging situation without being called a credit to my race.
  16. I am never asked to speak for all the people of my racial group.

4

  1. I can remain oblivious of the language and customs of persons of color who constitute the world’s majority without feeling in my culture any penalty for such oblivion.
  2. I can criticize our government and talk about how much I fear its policies and behavior without being seen as a cultural outsider.
  3. I can be pretty sure that if I ask to talk to “the person in charge,” I will be facing a person of my race.
  4. If a traffic cop pulls me over or if the IRS audits my tax return, I can be sure that I haven’t been singled out because of my race.
  5. I can easily buy posters, post-cards, picture books, greeting cards, dolls, toys, and children’s magazines featuring people of my race.
  6. I can go home from most meetings of organizations I belong to feeling somewhat tied in, rather than isolated, out-of-place, outnumbered, unheard, held at a distance, or feared.
  7. I can be pretty sure that an argument with a colleague of another race is more likely to jeopardize her chances for advancement than to jeopardize mine.
  8. I can be pretty sure that if I argue for the promotion of a person of another race, or a program centering on race, this is not likely to cost me heavily within my present setting, even if my colleagues disagree with me.
  9. If I declare there is a racial issue at hand, or there isn’t a racial issue at hand, my race will lend me more credibility for either position than a person of color will have.
  10. I can choose to ignore developments in minority writing and minority activist programs, or disparage them, or learn from them, but in any case, I can find ways to be more or less protected from negative consequences of any of these choices.
  11. My culture gives me little fear about ignoring the perspectives and powers of people of other races.
  12. I am not made acutely aware that my shape, bearing, or body odor will be taken as a reflection on my race.
  13. I can worry about racism without being seen as self-interested or self-seeking.
  14. I can take a job with an affirmative action employer without having my co-workers on the job suspect that I got it because of my race.
  15. If my day, week, or year is going badly, I need not ask of each negative episode or situation whether it has racial overtones.

5

  1. I can be pretty sure of finding people who would be willing to talk with me and advise me about my next steps, professionally.
  2. I can think over many options, social, political, imaginative, or professional, without asking whether a person of my race would be accepted or allowed to do what I want to do.
  3. I can be late to a meeting without having the lateness reflect on my race.
  4. I can choose public accommodation without fearing that people of my race cannot get in or will be mistreated in the places I have chosen.
  5. I can be sure that if I need legal or medical help, my race will not work against me.
  6. I can arrange my activities so that I will never have to experience feelings of rejection owing to my race.
  7. If I have low credibility as a leader, I can be sure that my race is not the problem.
  8. I can easily find academic courses and institutions which give attention only to people of my race.
  9. I can expect figurative language and imagery in all of the arts to testify to experiences of my race.
  10. I can choose blemish cover or bandages in “flesh” color and have them more or less match my skin.

I repeatedly forgot each of the realizations on this list until I wrote it down. For me, white privilege has turned out to be an elusive and fugitive subject. The pressure to avoid it is great, for in facing it I must give up the myth of meritocracy. If these things are true, this is not such a free country; one’s life is not what one makes it; many doors open for certain people through no virtues of their own. These perceptions mean also that my moral condition is not what I had been led to believe. The appearance of being a good citizen rather than a troublemaker comes in large part from having all sorts of doors open automatically because of my color.

In this potpourri of examples, some privileges make me feel at home in the world. Others allow me to escape penalties or dangers which others suffer. Through some, I escape fear, anxiety, or a sense of not being welcome or not being real. Some keep me from having to hide, to be in disguise, to feel sick or crazy, to negotiate each transaction from the position of being an outsider, or, within my group, a person who is suspected of having too close links with a dominant culture. Most keep me from having to be angry.

I see a pattern running through the matrix of white privilege, a pattern of assumptions which were passed on to me as a white person. There was one main piece of cultural turn; it was my own turf, and I was among those who could control the turf. I could measure up to the cultural standards and take advantage of the many options I saw around me to make what the culture would call a success

6

of my life. My skin color was an asset for any move I was educated to want to make. I could think of myself as “belonging” in major ways, and of making social systems work for me. I could freely disparage, fear, neglect, or be oblivious to anything outside of the dominant cultural forms. Being of the main culture, I could also criticize it fairly freely. My life was reflected back to me frequently enough so that I felt, with regard to my race, if not my sex, like one of the real people.

Whether through the curriculum or in the newspaper, the television, the economic system, or the general look of people in the streets, we receive daily signals and indications that my people counted, and that others either didn’t exist or must be trying, not very successfully, to be like people of my race. We were given cultural permission not to hear voices of people of other races, or a tepid cultural tolerance if we did happen to hear them.

In proportion, as my racial group was being made confident, comfortable, and oblivious, other groups were likely being made to lack confidence, comfort, and to feel alienated. Whiteness protected me from many kinds of hostility, distress and violence, which I was being subtly trained to visit in turn upon people of color.

It seems to me that obliviousness about white advantage is kept strongly enculturated in the United States so as to maintain the myth of meritocracy, the myth that democratic choice is equally available to all. Keeping most people unaware that freedom of confident action is there for just a small number of people props up those in power, and serves to keep power in the hands of the same groups that have most of it already.

Though systematic change takes many decades, there are pressing questions for me and I imagine for some others like me if we raise our daily consciousness on the dividends of being light-skinned. What will we do with such knowledge? …(I)t is an open question whether we will choose to use unearned advantage to weaken hidden systems of advantage, and whether we will use any of our arbitrarily-awarded power to try to reconstruct power systems on a broader base.